This Amazing Feeling That I Feel
Ok--at first glance, this might look like a really sarcastic title to my entry. An overbearlingly sarcastic title.
Right now, I'm at home, sitting in my bed, in my pajamas, with a [literally] runny nose, a stark inability to breath, menstrual pain, and coughing spells. What has been rumored to be the hardest exam [of three] in the semester is looming over my head. In fourteen hours, I will be sitting in an auditorium with my peers, taking this test. I do not have, this time, the nice practical grade to pull up my anatomy written grade. I have more than half of my material for Biochem to go over. My interview today was not my best. My face is hot, and my feet are cold. I am set to wing my way down to celebrate my fifth year anniversary tomorrow, and--if you were paying attention--hello monthly visitor. For the second time out of the last three visits. That's right--66.67% of my time spent with my boyfriend, after this weekend, will be under the shadow of whatever cute unfunny name one would like to give my period. I can't get the balance of Tylenol Cold and regular acetaminophen right, so I'm erring on the safe side because I'm all too didactic about the dangers of misusing that particular drug. That same Tylenol Cold is doing nothing for my runny nose, because I bought it before I had a runny nose. My computer won't let me re-download iTunes. My body hurts all over. I am exhausted. I am upset because Joey and I are both disappointed that we won't be able to celebrate our anniversary exactly as we had planned.
So, um, back to that title.
This amazing feeling that I feel is this: being able to handle it. Nothing more, nothing less. Of all of the things I feel, overwhelming stress is not one of them. Not at all. I feel confident in my ability to do what I have to, and I feel confident in my ability to make the best of my weekend. I am looking forward to cuddling, to sleeping in beside the person I want to see first thing in the morning on every day of my life. I am looking forward to eating a good breakfast, to buying apples and [hopefully] caramel, to sitting in a way-too-big bathtub and being able to breathe [or, hell, who knows? Maybe not breathe...] a large sigh of relief.
I can handle this, with the support of my friends and my boyfriend. I can handle this, because I have to. I can handle this, because I have the good sense to take my medicine, to explore and probe my emotions, and to know that this is the best feeling I've had in a long time.
Knowing that everything is--and will--be alright. That is this amazing feeling that I feel.
Right now, I'm at home, sitting in my bed, in my pajamas, with a [literally] runny nose, a stark inability to breath, menstrual pain, and coughing spells. What has been rumored to be the hardest exam [of three] in the semester is looming over my head. In fourteen hours, I will be sitting in an auditorium with my peers, taking this test. I do not have, this time, the nice practical grade to pull up my anatomy written grade. I have more than half of my material for Biochem to go over. My interview today was not my best. My face is hot, and my feet are cold. I am set to wing my way down to celebrate my fifth year anniversary tomorrow, and--if you were paying attention--hello monthly visitor. For the second time out of the last three visits. That's right--66.67% of my time spent with my boyfriend, after this weekend, will be under the shadow of whatever cute unfunny name one would like to give my period. I can't get the balance of Tylenol Cold and regular acetaminophen right, so I'm erring on the safe side because I'm all too didactic about the dangers of misusing that particular drug. That same Tylenol Cold is doing nothing for my runny nose, because I bought it before I had a runny nose. My computer won't let me re-download iTunes. My body hurts all over. I am exhausted. I am upset because Joey and I are both disappointed that we won't be able to celebrate our anniversary exactly as we had planned.
So, um, back to that title.
This amazing feeling that I feel is this: being able to handle it. Nothing more, nothing less. Of all of the things I feel, overwhelming stress is not one of them. Not at all. I feel confident in my ability to do what I have to, and I feel confident in my ability to make the best of my weekend. I am looking forward to cuddling, to sleeping in beside the person I want to see first thing in the morning on every day of my life. I am looking forward to eating a good breakfast, to buying apples and [hopefully] caramel, to sitting in a way-too-big bathtub and being able to breathe [or, hell, who knows? Maybe not breathe...] a large sigh of relief.
I can handle this, with the support of my friends and my boyfriend. I can handle this, because I have to. I can handle this, because I have the good sense to take my medicine, to explore and probe my emotions, and to know that this is the best feeling I've had in a long time.
Knowing that everything is--and will--be alright. That is this amazing feeling that I feel.
posted by Another Chance to Get It Right at
8:11 PM
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