Craving

This is weird, but for the past few days, I've really wanted a cigarette. Not just any cigarette. A clove cigarette. In fact, I want to go downtown and sit on Rob's porch, and smoke a clove cigarette.

I don't know what it is, the stress or just something else. It's not any sort of typical "cigarette" craving, the kind we see on commercials or in movies. I don't smoke, really, very often. Almost never. In my life, I've smoked cigarettes maybe [maybe] three times.

But there's something about it that I can't figure out--I've been craving the stillness of it, the fact that for a few minutes everything stops. And the sweet taste at the end of the filter, the leftover Christmas taste that cloves leave in your mouth.

In any case, it doesn't matter. Because cloves are now banned in the US, and they are no longer sold in stores. I could buy them online, but they sell them in cartons. Which would last me until the end of time, at my rate.

But it's weird--I want one. I can't stop thinking about it. But unlike my other cravings, this one can't be satisfied by the taste. And it's frustrating.